“Because of the surpassing greatness of the
revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given
me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me—to keep me from
exalting myself! Concerning this I implored the Lord
three times that it might leave me. And He has said to
me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is
perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will
rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.
Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults,
with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for
when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)
Prenatal testing such as diagnostic ultrasounds,
fetal electrocardiography, and amniocentesis can detect fetal anomalies such as
Down’s Syndrome (Trisomy 21), Trisomy 18 (Edward’s Syndrome), cystic fibrosis,
spina bifida or heart defects.[1]
A
pregnant woman who finds out her baby is likely to have some kind of fetal
abnormality might feel as though she has a thorn in the flesh. Having used
prenatal testing, she is probably already thinking about how difficult it might
be to raise, for example, a child with Down’s Syndrome. Family members,
friends, medical personnel and others may reinforce these anxious and fearful feelings
and thoughts.
Medical and abortion industry workers have a lot invested in
urging and even coercing women into aborting their “abnormal” babies.
There is of course a lot of money to be made from abortion
procedures.
Furthermore, and tragically, the “imperfect” are subject to
great prejudice in our society in general and in the medical fields in
particular, especially among the many who subscribe to “perfecting” society
through eugenics, selective breeding and abortion. What parent doesn’t want to
have a “perfect” baby?
In addition there are legal concerns. “Some women have successfully
sued doctors for the “wrongful life” of babies who were born handicapped,
claiming that their doctors should have detected the anomaly so they could
abort.”
No wonder up to 92% of mothers who have testing done and
learn they may be having babies with Down’s Syndrome have their babies aborted. [2]
So are people with Down’s Syndrome or other disabling
conditions really the thorns in the flesh that society, doctors, and even we
might think they are?
At the church my family and I participate in, I have had the
privilege over the last 9 years of watching a beautiful girl with Down’s grow
up. The love and joy shared within her family, including six other children, is
wonderful to see, as is the love and joy this girl gives to those around her.
In a broken home with a largely absent mother and no father,
I from an early age raised my younger brother who was severely mentally and
physically handicapped. At the time it sometimes seemed like a thorn in the
flesh (not the way I would have put it back then), but as time went on, and
especially after he died of asthma as a teen, I have realized what a blessing
it was to take care of Scott and have him in my life. He loved me when love and
companionship was very hard to find around me, he instilled in me a sense of
responsibility beyond my years, and gave me a sense of purpose I desperately
needed. I look back on my time with him with awe and joy, and now, in my mid-50’s,
I still miss him.
But what about those babies born with fatal fetal defects
that usually result in death in a matter of months, weeks or even hours? Eighty percent of these babies are aborted.
Isn’t that the best thing for them, and for their parents, rather than brief
lives of suffering?
Perinatal hospice offers a compassionate network of
extensive medical, emotional and spiritual support to the entire family from
the diagnosis to the death of the baby and beyond. Unfortunately only two
states require giving out information about perinatal hospice, but Americans
United for Life has created model legislation in an attempt to change this.
When parents have such information, 80% of them choose to take advantage of this
care.
Senator Rick Santorum and his wife Karen with their son
Gabriel, who survived two hours, made this choice. In Karen’s words, “In two
hours we experienced a lifetime of emotions. Love, sorrow, regret, joy—-all
were packed into that brief span. To have rejected that experience would have
been to reject life itself.”[3]
Years ago, I had a nephew who only lived a matter of
minutes. His brief life, his death and his funeral deeply touched us all.
We don’t know exactly what a thorn in the flesh is, but we
do know a thorn is not a person, it is a thing. So babies with fetal anomalies,
and adults with disabilities, are not thorns in anyone’s flesh. It is an
abortion industry lie that says people are things because they have
abnormalities, or just because they haven’t been born yet.
The fetal defects themselves might be thorns in the flesh,
but thorns are not necessarily bad things. Certainly we can pray that our
children will be conceived and born “healthy”. But if they are not, we have basically
two options.
One is to have a negative outlook that will likely lead to
abortion. But this option comes with consequences parents are rarely informed
about that can be painful.
After being told her unborn baby would have Down’s Syndrome,
one woman who aborted the baby chemically said that afterwards she had
“feelings of grief, guilt, doubt, hatred of pregnant women and anger at the
rest of the world.”
Another woman was told that she would abort her baby with
Down’s Syndrome if she really loved her baby. In her own words, “The abortion
was cruel … No one ever told me about all the emotional baggage I would be
required to carry for the rest of my life. It destroyed my life! My marriage
suffered tremendously and my relationships with others were also affected
because I no longer trusted anyone.”[4]
One comparative study shows that 22% of women who had
abortions after adverse fetal diagnoses were diagnosed with a psychiatric
disorder and 16% had these disorders 14 months later. Of the aborting women,
over 64% developed symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, comparable to
65% in another study.[5]
There are also other psychiatric as well as spiritual and
physical problems that come with abortions of any kind (see the blog entries
dated previously to this one), so the negative outlook on fetal anomalies is a
very negative and costly option.
The other option is the kind of positive outlook the Apostle
Paul had on his thorn in the flesh, the kind of outlook shared by the Santorum
family and many other parents of children with various types of Trisomy, and
many other families who have children and adults with Trisomy 21, Down’s
Syndrome.[6]
In a trio of surveys of more than 3,000 families, “The vast majority of parents said they have a more positive outlook on life because of their child with Down syndrome. And, nearly 90 percent of siblings indicated that they feel like they are better people because of their brother or sister with the developmental disability. Nearly all of the survey respondents with Down syndrome said they were happy with their lives, themselves and their appearance. Only 4 percent said they felt sad about their life.”[7]
If indeed a fetal defect is a thorn in the flesh, and if it is a thorn to the mother and family and others, then it is even more a thorn to the fetus, to the child, to the adult who lives with that abnormality. Yet that person, even as a fetus, has a survival instinct and an inner desire to live on. Most of them say they are happy with their lives. If they can be happy with them, then so can we. We can be joyful and grateful, they have so much to teach us and so much love and joy to share with us.
This positive outlook not only allows babies with fetal
abnormalities to live but rejoices with them and shares a love of life with
them. This positive attitude, this faith, says with Paul that God’s grace is
sufficient for us, that in the apparent weakness of disabled children and being
the parents and family members of these children there is in fact great power. Why?
In our weakness the power of Christ dwells in us and is perfected in us. In
another great paradox of life and in particular of the Christian faith, when we
are weak, then we are strong in Christ.
