Magi, or
wise men, had followed a star to Jerusalem looking for a king. On being told of
the prophecy that a king would be born in Bethlehem, they headed straight
there, found the infant King, Jesus Christ, and worshiped Him and gave Him
gifts.
The Roman
king Herod, who ruled over Israel, had told the magi to tell him when they
found the king, so that he could worship him too. But Herod really wanted to
kill one he wrongly saw as competition for his throne. Warned in a dream, they
bypassed Herod and returned home.
“Then when Herod saw that he
had been tricked by the magi, he became very enraged, and sent and slew all the
male children who were in Bethlehem and all its vicinity, from two years old
and under, according to the time which he had determined from the magi. Then what had been spoken through Jeremiah the prophet was
fulfilled: “A voice was heard in Ramah, Weeping
and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her
children; And she refused to be comforted, Because
they were no more.” (Matthew 2:16-18)
April is Abortion Recovery Awareness Month, and this
is the first in a three-part series on Abortion Recovery.
Now, these verses may appear to be about infanticide
and not abortion.
However there is good reason to believe that male “children
two years old and under” included those in the womb. The magi had not returned
so Herod didn’t know whether the king had already been born or not. People in
his time and culture did not make the legal and language distinctions between
born and unborn children that we have made since abortion became legal. The
aborting of children was not uncommon, and infanticide was not uncommon.
What is certain is that women mourn and weep, women
refuse to be comforted, when their children are taken from them through
abortion, in the same ways that they are greatly grieved and pained when they
lose children outside of the womb.
Angelina of Ontario, Canada, tells her story of depression
and self-hatred, alcohol and drug addiction and sexual affairs, and how she was
suicidal after aborting Sarah, who was conceived after a date rape. She found
help through a counselor, healing retreats, and ironically through an ectopic
pregnancy. She is still healing after 40 years.
Julia from Texas tells of how Steven Tyler, of the
rock group Aerosmith, coerced her into having an abortion they now both regret.
Pro-choice Cindy, from Alabama, had a dream of holding
her aborted baby boy eight months after her abortion. Depressed, she became an
alcoholic and sexually promiscuous. Wishing she were dead, she found healing
after 23 years, but she still mourns her lost son.
These stories and those of many other women who regret
abortion can be found here:
Whether or not women have lost their children to
tragic accident, disease, murder outside the womb, or murder inside the womb,
the death of their children still causes horrible trauma. This is true even
though women have given up their children to be aborted.
Why? At least 64% of women who have had abortions felt
in some way forced into having their abortions. It is no coincidence that the
number one cause of death among pregnant women is murder. It is likely that
other women, looking back later on their abortions, have felt that they were
somehow coerced. More about those who put pressure on women to have abortions
and the ways in which they force them can be found in this link:
Symptoms of Post-Abortion Stress (PAS) include:
-- Bouts of
crying
-- Depression
-- Guilt,
including survivor guilt
--Inability to
forgive yourself
--Intense grief
/ sadness
--Anger / rage
-- Emotional
numbness
-- Sexual
problems, loss of interest in sex, or promiscuity
-- Eating
disorders
--Lowered self
esteem
--Self-degrading
and self-punishing behavior such as failure to properly care for oneself or self-injury
--Drug and
alcohol abuse
--Suicidal
urges
--Difficulty
with and disruption in relationships, getting into abusive relationships
--Interruption
of the bonding process with present or future children
--Overprotection
of living children
--Control
issues
--Resentment or
anger toward those who were involved in the abortion decision
--Anxiety and
panic attacks
--Multiple
abortions
-- Pattern of
repeat crisis pregnancy
--Anxiety over
fertility and childbearing issues
--Discomfort
around babies or pregnant women
--Fear / ambivalence of pregnancy
--Pre-occupation with becoming pregnant again
--Reduced motivation
--Re-experiencing the abortion, including flashbacks and nightmares about
lost or hurt babies, as well as sleep disturbances
--Anniversary syndrome (PAS symptoms heighten at the time of the
anniversary of the abortion or the baby’s due date)
--Brief psychotic break with reality (rare)
http://www.rachelsvineyard.org/emotions/symptoms.htm
http://www.postabortionsyndrome.org/post_abortion_syndrome_symptoms.html
With the exception of abortion-specific symptoms, these signs are also
indicators of the more generalized Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) of
which PAS is a type.
A lot of people are hurt by abortion, so a lot of people are in need of
abortion recovery. But how does a post abortive woman recover?
First it is important to say that abortion recovery takes a lifetime of
healing, progress and growth. There may be setbacks along the way, but there will
be a turning point that a post abortive mother will only know when she has
reached it.
If you are a post abortive woman seeking healing, the important thing
is to seek out help promptly, but without rushing. Do your research, go online,
and talk with people you trust, especially those who may be in abortion
recovery themselves. Then choose a recovery person or group (or both) that
feels safe and right to you. There is no single “right” or “best” way to
recovery. If you get into and put yourself into a recovery program and it just
isn’t working for you, by all means look into another recovery program.
Online recovery through forums, message boards, chats and email groups can
be helpful as a supplement. Books and websites can also be very helpful. But in
most cases a personal touch will be needed, whether a counselor, clergyperson, therapist,
therapy group, peer counselor, peer group, pro-life pregnancy resource center or
other support person or group.
There are certain things you have a right to expect of support people
and groups, including confidentiality, no pressure and no rush to tell your
story, prompt responses when you try to get in touch, no political agenda,
being non-judgmental, respectful, and knowledgeable, and no “quick fixes” or “spiritual
band-aids”.
As a Christian and someone dealing with Post Abortion Survivor Syndrome
(more on that soon), I recommend a Christian path for healing. However, you
might be a post abortive woman who just can’t deal with that for whatever
reason. There are other recovery programs and resources out there for you.
Here are some websites with links, articles and resource lists to help
you on the road to recovery, or to help someone else on their recovery path.
Thus says the Lord, “A
voice is heard in Ramah, Lamentation and bitter weeping.
Rachel is weeping for her children; She refuses to be
comforted for her children,
Because they are no more.”
That is Matthew 2:18, which is a direct quotation of Jeremiah 31:15, which continues, “Thus says the Lord, “Restrain your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears; For your work will be rewarded,” declares the Lord, “And they will return from the land of the enemy. “There is hope for your future,” declares the Lord” (16, 17).
